why we shouldn't "candy coat" the truth when speaking to non-believers

 As as Christian I was taught that when speaking to people about Christ and the salvation message that I should do so in a loving and certainly non condeming way. I believe this is true to a certain extent. But too we have to keep the mind the word there "salvation". In doing that, one must first undestand what that word means.

The word salvation means:

1. Preservation or deliverance from destruction (mans definition) And

2. Deliverance from the power or penalty of sin; redemption (Christian definition)

Taking that into account then, one might ask "how" then are we as Christians supposed to witness in a "non-condeming " way to the non-believer? I believe we can do this non-condeming way and still provide the reasons for the NEED for salvation.

My point being that, one must know, or the Christian must find a way to illustrate why God is needed in their life, without condeming them or otheriwse, judging them. I know as I have been accused many a time in "judging" the nonbeliever, that one might think by stating one is a sinner that would be considered a judgement. But in truth it is not,  The main reason is it is not is that, We have all sinned and are sinners, so we as a Christian are not sitting and do not sit in a place of judgement. Too, you have to consider the fact that, for one to be "judging" someone else they are : forming an opinion or estimation of, after careful consideration. To put that in its proper perspective as it pertains to sin and or one who is a sinner: God made/created His laws. A sinner is one who breaks those laws. There is no judgement there, no opinion on, it is what it is. I liken it to if I were to lie, I would be a liar, for someone else to call me a liar, is not their opinion but a fact in which they are in observance of and they would be simply pointing out something obviously true. Another analogy I can give for that is, If someone breaks into your home and you see them take things, would be "judging" them if you then call them a thief? No. The same is true when talking to nonbelievers.

But all of that even can be avoided. You as a believer do not have to point out the fact they are a sinner. You can simply point out Gods laws, and let they (the non believer), judge themselves according to that standard. You will then be putting them in a position where they are confessing to that sin.

Ok, with all of that said, and keeping in mind the word 'salvation", we need to also point out and declare why it is that the nonbeliever NEEDS salvation. And this is why:

If you are on a boat, and one of the attendants apporaches you with a life jacket and says " Here, put this on, it will make your experience on this cruise so much better". You may be inclined to put it on.

Now you walk around with the jacket on and it gets hot, starts to feel heavy, maybe even really uncomfortable. As you walk around too, you see other passengers. Some have jackets on like you, others do not. Some look like they feel rather comfortable with it on, others do not. And some of the ones without jackets on are looking at you like you are crazy! They point and snicker and some even make fun of you and call you you names about it. As time goes by you grow more frustrated with the jacket, so you take it off and throw it into the sea.

Some minutes later the boat begins to sink. this boat is equipped only with life jackets, there are no safety boats or dingys only the jacket. The ones with their jackets on jump into the water and await their rescue. The ones without scream and run around frantic knowing that it is too late for them. And you now realize it is too late for you as well. Your jacket is gone. You are doomed.

Now, take this into consideration: Suppose if you will the attendant had told tyou right from the start the need for that jacket. Suppose the attendant knew of the holes in the boat and aware of its impending sinking, and informed you about it. Would you have then ever taken the jacket off? Would all of those others not wearing jackets have? Some would have might not believed the attendant and chose to not put the jacket on in the first place. But most, I think would agree that the attendant having shown them the "holes" would have.

In that regard, we the christians should show the holes in this boat. In this case, we point out to the nonbeliever where the holes are, (their sin) why the boat is sinking, (how that sin defies the law of God) what will happen when the boat sinks, (what the consequences of sin are ) and how the jacket will save them (faith in Christ, belief offers forgiveness for that sin).

In the above illustration I showed the scenario of a boat sinking and the lives which perish as a result of not wearing the jacket. If we "candy coat" the message of Christ we are not revealing to the nonbeliever WHY he or she NEEDS the jacket. we are not giving them the whole truth and thus may either : A) find that there are those who will opt to not wear the jacker regardless of how "good" it might make their experience be And B)Those that might recieve and wear the jacket might after feeling the discomforts of it, will take it off.

To this extent: If we tell people only of How God/Jesus will improve their experience or make them happier, more joyful then not only are we not telling them the whole truth, we decieve even there too, as Jesus does give us joy and tells us not worry about things, but that in no way exempts us from the problems themselves. A person who is new to that faith after receiving that kind of message may get angry about being told that once envountering problems. They say things like "I thought God was going to make my life so much better?!" etc.

Too, if we give a "candu coated" message, and lets say that new beleiver comes across people who do not believe, people who might, call them names, laugh at them, curse at them, etc. This makes that "life jacket" (God in their lives) feel uncomfortable to them. Not only this, but in keeping to Gods laws as well, can make one feel less than comfortable at times.

But if when we minister the gospel, or in other words witness to people we tell them the truth and the whole truth, about sin, about the wages of it, about hell and then absolutely about LIFE then the jacket is not so uncomfortable to them afterall. They hold onto it tightly and securely. Now this all goes without saying that there are some who may not believe the "boat" in this case our lives, are sinking, but that is their choice to make.

So, one might be asking how can I then witness to someone about all of this. How do I approach and what do I say?

I learned this from a Christian witnessing tool called "The Way of the Master":

First you might ask the person you speaking to if they think they are a "good" person. Do this in a non confrontatinal way, very matter of factly so to speak.

Then agree with them. Say "ok do you mind if we kind of put that to a test?"

Then ask them "Have you ever told a lie?" They will more than likely say, yes.

You then say, "Ok, if I told you a lie, what would you call me?" The answer is, a liar.

(leave it at that and just say, ok)

Now say "have you ever stolen anything?" Now at this point some might say yes and others might not, you can Try, "I mean, anything, even as child, something small, or have you ever "borrowed" something without telling the person you borrowed it from? Which is the same thing of course. Most after this will say, Yes.

Then say,"Ok, if I stole something from you what would you call me? Or a person who steals is called a?" Thief is the answer

(leave this alone as well, drop it and move on)

Now you can say, "Ok have you ever taken the Lords name is vain?" This means to have used it as a curse word, like G#d D&%# it, or you get my point. explain what this means as most do not know what that is. Most will say to this as well

You then say, "ok that is considered, blasphemy according to the ten commandments". you then can ask if they have ever heard of the ten commandments etc. but only briefly. You want to keep them interested in your message.

At this point you can point out that by their own admission, they are: A liar, A thief and a blasphemer again according to their own admission as well as according to Gods laws and standards for being considered "good". And that is just three of them. You can do this in a loving, nonjudgmental way.

So now you again in a loving way ask them "if on this day, if you were to die lets say, right now, would you be found innocent or guilty of breaking Gods law? Most will say "well I guess, guilty then."

Now you point out that the wages of that sin are death and eternal seperation from God in hell. You can ask them if this now concerns them, after admitting what they did.

Now you purpose the gift of salvation through Christ!

You tell them and share your "candy", (so to speak) :) Telling them how much God loves them and how much He wants for them to recieve that gift. To be with Him eternally forever and forever.

How much He wants to show His grace for them.

How Christ being so loving, in ultimate and complete love died for them! How God loving them so very much sent His son to die as an ultimate sacrifice for their sin, an ultimate sacrifice for them!!

Hope this helped

God bless!!!