Please do not feed the elephants! Very Funny Story!

It is good idea to heed the advice given by zoo officials once visiting a zoo. You should always be aware of the signs and postings regarding the animals. My brother, Bob learned this lesson the hard way and as result was traumatized for the rest of his life!

It all started one crisp sunny morning over coffee with his wife. The two of them decided to make a day trip with their kids and visit the local wild animal park. The park is one where you drive through in your own car and they thought it would be a great outing for the four of them.

Upon entering the park they noticed several postings with the words "Please Do Not Feed The Animals!" After enjoying a wide range of animals and getting rather hungry my brother stopped momentarily to get into the bag of goodies they had brought with them.

They sat there a moment and ate and talked about all the animals they had seen. On their last venture after finishing their meal of cheese and crackers, cookies and chips, they came upon the elephant exhibit.

The kids became very excited to see the large behemoths penned behind a large wall of stone. One curious elephant caught the attention of Bob. He stopped the car and noticed the elephant seemed to be coming towards them and wanting to say hi, my brother rolled down his window.

The elephant seemed just as eager to greet them as he placed his head over the wall even enough so that my brother could reach out and touch his very large trunk. My brother being the clown of the family that he is decided that it might be funny and rather interesting to feed the elephant some chips that were beside him.

stretching out his hand while his wife looked on shaking her head in disagreement he laid the chips flat and the elephant began to feast on the tasty morsels. Meanwhile, Bob's wife and kids reminded him of the postings and how it was just wrong to be doing what he was doing, but my brother just laughed and enjoyed this "bonding time" with the elephant.

After getting his jollies and tired of hearing the comments from the "peanut gallery" in the backseat, Bob decided to move on. But the elephant had different plans! He was still wanting the chips and whatever else they had in the car, perhaps a soda to wash them down! so, he took his trunk and slipped in through the opened window!

The elephants trunk which was huge was waving wildly inside the car and examining rather obnoxiously, Bob's face and body! He fought and fought the elephants trunk, trying to push it back through the window but to no avail. The elephant was just too strong for him!

stretching further and further the elephants commitment to finding more chips was greater than the efforts of my brother to save his family from this ravenous beast! On and on the struggle went all the while you could hear the screams (and laughter) from my brother's family.

After growing increasingly tired from the ordeal my brother concocted a plan! (continued below)

 Bob concluded that maybe once putting some pressure on the trunk by slowly rolling up the window the elephant would pull his trunk back enabling them to make their great escape!

so, slowly and very methodically he began to roll. BUT ALL OF SUDDEN THE ELEPHANT TOOK HIS TRUNK AND WILDLY, MADLY BEGAN MOVING IT ALL INSIDE THE CAR! WRAPPING IT AROUND MY BROTHER'S HEAD AND FACE!! SCREAMING LIKE A MAD MAN BOB TRIED TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THIS MOST AWFUL OF PERILS! (meanwhile his wife and kids were laughing hysterically!)

Tighter and tighter Bob managed to roll the window up on the elephants trunk and the more he did this the more the elephant fought back! and then it happened all of a sudden... The elephant's trunk stopped moving...

Now, staring Bob dead in the eyes were these two flaring nostrils. Breathing deeply in and out, slow at first, then faster and faster until...

"AAAAACHOOOOOOOO!!!!"

That's right folks, elephant boogers everywhere!!! It covered the chips, it covered the dashboard, it covered the seats, it covered the floor and oh yes even more so than all of that, my brother was soaked in it,  head to toe!

After relieving itself from blowing boogies everywhere and feeling rather proud of covering my brother in them the elephant retreated.

My brother has to this day not fully recovered from his ordeal with the elephant. I mean come on, who would? How often is it that you have ever heard of someone getting showered with an elephants boogers?! And really, I don't think there are any support groups out there for something like that either.

After picking myself up from floor and wiping my eyes from laughing so hard after hearing this tale of tales, I just told my brother, that I had hoped he learned this valuable lesson, to "please not feed the animals" at the zoo.